


Getting to Know You

by Sachi_Grace



Series: Crazy Equals Genius [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Bodyswap, F/M, Gender Issues, Irouma Week, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, Secrets, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:20:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24872938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sachi_Grace/pseuds/Sachi_Grace
Summary: Day 3: Bodyswap.Weird how they woke up and they're in each other's bodies. Miu and Kokichi are going to have to learn the awkwardness of being each other, and what the other body was capable of doing.
Relationships: Iruma Miu/Oma Kokichi
Series: Crazy Equals Genius [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796464
Kudos: 69





	Getting to Know You

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to Irouma Week for hosting this event. Thank you all for following me thus far!

She was uncomfortable. Miu slept in weird places before. Floors, desks, beds better off being boards and bricks rather than mattresses. Miu’s slept alone and naked or clothed, depending on the season. She was used to the humidity’s sticky welcome in the morning, and winter’s chilling bite at night. However, opening her eyes to see a fucking disaster of a room wasn’t exactly what she had. She rubbed her eyes. She wasn’t drunk, though her head felt fuzzy. She wasn’t sore, so she knew that no one tried anything on her. There was something peculiar between her legs, though, and she grumbled, wondering if she fell asleep with a fucking dildo. Not that it happened before, but Miu wouldn’t put it past her scatterbrained self.

She flipped the covers off of her and blinked slowly. Red and yellow boxers greeted her line of sight. She dragged her eyes down the legs of the body and noticed that the toes were painted an obnoxious pink, which didn’t make sense. Rantaro had that color of nail polish in his ever-growing collection of knick-knacks. Miu didn’t sit down for girls’ day because there was no fucking point to it. She had inventions to make. 

The boxers were just so fucking weird too. Did someone break into Miu’s room and dressed her up? God, was that a violation or a fucking turn on? She didn’t think Kokichi would be so weird.

Her eyes wandered the room again. This room wasn’t her room. It was chaos in a way that Miu wasn’t. There was a whiteboard hanging in the middle of papers strewn across the floor and chairs. There was a horse head that was just so fucking creepy, Miu reminded herself to hold it over whoever’s head when she found out what room she was in. She slowly got herself out of bed, the uncomfortableness in between her legs made it hard to walk. God. She pulled down the pants and stared.

She was pretty sure she screamed loud enough to indicate a murder.

Think Miu, think! This wasn’t something she invented, was it? She remembered going back to  _ her  _ room last night, and she remembered being in her  _ own  _ body. Now she was in...who te fuck body was she in? She made her way to the bathroom and slammed the door open. She went right to the mirror and-“OH, YOU GOTTA BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!”

X

Kokichi woke up to a faint smell of oil, grease, and a sharp tang of lemon. God, what did he manage to get himself into when he was asleep? He rubbed his legs together before sitting himself up, rubbing sleep away from his eyes. He felt gross, his mouth tasted weird, and the world felt like it could topple over him at any minute. Was his blood sugar down? He could’ve sworn that he had eaten something the last few days, Kokichi shouldn’t be feeling so weak as he was. Also, he wasn’t in a bedroom. The room was too weird. It was purple. Not purple as in a fun color. There were hanging light fixtures on the ceiling as well as some tools that could quickly saw his brains out if he so much as moved wrong. There was a table smack in the middle of the laboratory where Kiibo would get his maintenance done.

How the fuck he wound him in here, he wasn’t sure. However, he didn’t hear Miu screaming or moaning or fighting over some sort of invention, so he could presume that she was asleep somewhere. Ugh, his legs felt numb and tight. Blood suddenly rushed through his arms as he stretched, and he stood up, wobbling a little from the weird position that he slept in.

“Oi! Miu!” He called, and something was wrong with his voice. It didn’t sound like his at all. It was gravelly against his throat, and it sounded off. “Miu! Bitchlet! Whore! Slut!” He shouted, hoping, praying that she would just appear somewhere. God, where the fuck was she? What was wrong with his voice? He started to walk, but his legs shook underneath him, and he tripped and fell onto his face. 

“Stupid legs…” Kokichi looked and blinked. Did was this a joke? Miu’s boots were on his feet; the heels were thin and pointed, which explained the lack of balance. He didn’t know how to fucking walk in heels. He didn’t even know how to run in them as Miu could. Not only did she force him to wear the boots, but she also had the black bondage straps on him and the pink skirt. Now that he thought about it, when he landed on his face, he landed on something soft on his chest. 

He looked down, and he jolted. No way. There’s no way. No way. He rushed out of the through, not caring if he stumbled around like a baby giraffe that had no idea what balance was. He got to the mirror and stared at it. “MIU YOU WHORE!”

X

Okay, gotta think, gotta think, gotta think. Miu paced back and forth in Kokichi’s bathroom as she tried to figure out what was going on. Fact one was that she was now in the damn gremlin’s body. Fact two, there was no way Miu was going to be able to tell anyone that she was in Kokichi’s body because the damn little bastard was a lying one. Anything she said would immediately look like she was trying to wiggle out of something. Fact number three, she had no idea how long she was going to be in a body that could barely bend over the fucking sink. She knew that Kokichi was a twink, god his body said the story, but she didn’t realize how tall she was compared to him until she had to stand on her tippy toes to look through his mirror. 

She never thought that she’d be grateful to be tall until now. No wonder short people were angry all the time Ryoma was just the weird-ass who was content being close to hell. She stepped back thoughtfully. She needed to get dressed; she couldn’t go around wearing the boxers and the black nightshirt. God having short hair rocked, she didn’t have to style it or do much to it. Kokichi looked as though he rolled out of bed anyway.

Her thoughts buzzed around her head as she stood motionless at his closet. She was supposed to undress him, right? Well, undress her. She felt herself twitch underneath the boxers, and her cheeks flushed a deep red. It wasn’t anything kinky! She yanked the nightshirt off and quickly grabbed the straight jacket that was in his closet. The faster that she got dressed and down for breakfast, the quicker she could run into Kokichi, right?

Oh god, Kokichi was in her body.

Miu moaned as she felt herself twitch again, and she looked down to see that she was hard as a rock. Her eyes widened. She cupped her hands down, her cheeks blazing. “Too weird, too weird, too weird.” She muttered, trying to keep herself together. Touching herself like that wasn’t...helping.

Was she couldn’t just walk around like that either. Oh god, was this what they called morning wood? She wanted to curl up in a ball and die and laugh and die again. She was used to masturbating in her own body; she knew how to pleasure herself. This felt more like a violation. There was no kink-negotiation here. “Fucking boners.” She muttered. If she ignored it, would it go away? She hoped so. She threw the jacket on, not letting herself stare too much at his body. The moment she figured out how all the damn straps worked (they didn’t, they were just for pure decoration the bondage wanna-be), she decided to brace herself for the worse.

She slammed the door open with a loud and powerful bang, and she stomped off into the dining room before remembering that she was in Kokichi’s body. “Oh god, how am I supposed to act like you?!” She grumbled. She hoped that if Kokichi were at the dining room, their bickering, no matter who was talking, would sound the same, and they wouldn’t get questioned.

Right?

X

Miu needed to wash her hair more, Kokichi grumbled as his hands through her strands. It felt weird against his fingers, and he had a feeling that she was not only neglecting how she ate but how often she fucking bathed. No wonder Kokichi called her filthy. He was going to have to figure out a way to get this body clean. There was no way she could be thinking that it was okay to walk around like this. At all. 

Ugh, that meant getting her permission. She was going to make it awkward and weirder than it already was. Monokuma was probably the only one that knew what the fuck she was doing with his body anyway. He shuddered at the thought. If she was masturbating to this, then she was a lot sicker than he took her for. He was grateful that he was able to get some idea on how to walk on the heels, but it wasn’t going to last if someone pushed his balance or forced him to run. 

Hopefully, no one was going to notice a thing.

“Oi! Cockslut!”

Kokichi stopped in his tracks and looked over to see that Miu was bounding over to him down the stairs. It was surreal to watch his body come towards him. Also, it was…” Holy shit, I’m taller than you.” Kokichi suddenly gasped, and before Miu could protest, he placed his arm on his head. Oh, it was weird. This was super fucking weird. “Is this what it’s like to feel like a god? I’m stealing your height after all of this is over, Miu.”

“Yeah yeah, get off of me.” Miu snapped, trying to push Kokichi’s arm away from her. The scowl that she was making looked out of place on his face. His eyes didn’t look that expressive, and his mouth wasn’t supposed to do anything but grin. Ugh, he was going to have to couch her on hiding her expressions more, wasn’t he? “What the ever-loving fuck did you do? If you wanted to get into my body  _ that _ badly-”

“What the fuck makes you think I want anything to do with this?” Kokichi gestured up and down and up again. “I’d rather kill myself than to be in this a moment longer. You don’t take care of yourself! Your hair’s a fucking mess. I can smell myself from miles away. My mouth feels like cotton. You’re so fucking gross!”

“Hey, dipshit, I’m not exactly thrilled to be in your body either!” Miu wilted under his lecture, and her knees buckled underneath her. Kokichi’s brows furrowed before he casually glanced down and blinked. Oh. Yeah, that was going to be a huge problem. It wasn’t like Miu tried to hide when she was aroused, but getting hardons were fucking uncomfortable, and if she wasn’t used to walking with one between her legs, this could get awkward and fast. “If this isn’t one of your fucking pranks and it’s not one of my inventions, then what the fuck is this!”

Both of them seemed to sense the awkwardness. Kokichi saw enough body-swapped episodes on Saturday cartoons to have a good guess as to what it’d take for them to switch back. He brought his thumb to his lips. Was it Monodam’s idea to do this to make people get along? Then why the fuck didn’t, they do that to Tenko and whatever male was having problems with?

“Oh, hell, no!” Miu pulled his thumb from his mouth and slapped his cheek lightly, stunning him. “You are not biting my nails. I take care of those!”

There were oil and grease underneath them, too, Kokichi noted. His eyes widened in the realization that he could’ve accidentally poisoned himself and wouldn’t have been the wiser. “We can’t just hide in the room all day,” Kokichi could feel his hand wanting to go to his mouth. He didn’t realize how often he did that until Miu started to hit him every time he tried. 

“We can’t exactly hide that we’re different either.” Miu gestured between them both. “They’re not like me in the brains department, but not all of them have a second on in their dick.”

“I’m taking a shower, and getting this thing clean.” He pointed at Miu’s body. “Meet me back in your lab and bring…” He trailed off. “Bring whatever you think is fun.”

“Huh? Oi!” Miu called out to him, but Kokichi wasn’t listening. 

If this was the only way to get out of her body, then so be it. 

X

“Okay, what the fuck.” Miu sighed as she headed back to her lab. They were lucky that Kirumi didn’t ask questions when they said they wanted to eat in her lab. No one tried to ask questions either when they left the dining hall. It wasn’t uncommon for Miu and Kokichi to be together, but Miu would’ve thought the curiosity would kill them. She wondered if they assumed that they were fucking. Miu wasn’t sure if she wanted to fuck herself during a bodyswap. She was all in for dirty roleplay and bondage, but she wasn’t that much of a narcissist. Masturbating was a whole different ballgame. 

She wasn’t sure she knew how to keep an erection going anyway. They seemed to appear and disappear without a moment’s notice. She could be thinking about her inventions, and one would suddenly pop. Either Kokichi had a high libido, or Kokichi’s body knew that Miu didn’t have self-control. She didn’t understand what Kokichi considered fun either. She assumed that he meant cards and dice and shit since her vibrators and sex toys were in her dorm. If he were going to go that route, then he would’ve brought it down with him.

He cleared off the workspace that she had and stared at her. “We’re going to get our bodies back.”

“Okay, how the fuck does cards and dice have anything to do with that? If you think sex was the way to go, we could’ve done it in the dorm-”

“God, no.” Kokichi stuck his tongue out. “We’re not doing that. Nuh-huh.” He held his hand out, and she passed the deck of cards. “Here’s the deal bitchlet whore, we’re going to play a game. For every loss, you have to tell me an answer to any question I ask. No passes.”

Miu blinked slowly, “Hold on a second what about you shitstain?! I can beat you in any game you so wish. Fucking try me!”

“Oh, I’m about to try you,” Kokichi’s tone turned deep. It sounded strange in Miu’s voice. She didn’t think she could sound so ominous. It was out of character and weird. “You won’t win against me. So I don’t have to worry about it. Though if it bothers you, I guess I can put myself on the same stakes. Take out pairs.”

Miu picked the cards up and started to take out the pairs as he was doing. Her mind was whirling, but she understood the need for pretenses. She wasn’t sure how this was going to get their bodies back. Still, it was better than doing nothing and trying to hide around and interacting as little as possible. It was better to pretend that they were trying to settle their differences with a deck of cards as a front than to admit that they weren’t sure what happened. 

The first game went to Kokichi. “Fucker! I know you were cheating.”

“Someone’s a sore loser!” Kokichi taunted, “but fair is fair, Miu~ you have to be honest with my question too.”

“Yeah, like you’re going, being honest with whatever question I ask, you fucked up piece of shit.” Miu snapped back. 

“Doubt me if you want. Now then…” Kokichi hummed thoughtfully. “Are you a virgin, Miu?”

Miu’s cheeks turned hot, and she looked away. The scarf that tied around her neck felt suffocating. She tugged on it a few times, loosening it away from her. “S-so, what if I am?” She asked, rubbing her thighs together nervously as she looked away from him. “Does that get you off?”

“Wow, I thought you were a hooker!” Kokichi grinned excitedly. “You know, one of my organization members was one.”

“That’s a fucking lie.” Miu grumbled, “You don’t need to rub it in. I bet you’ve had sex with plenty of people.”

“Just two,” Kokichi replied, and Miu rolled her eyes as he started to reshuffle the deck. They passed out the cards, and the game continued.

This game went to Miu, who threw her hands up in the air. “Boo-ya! Suck it, loser!” She stuck her tongue out at Kokichi, who stuck his back. “Okay, so Cockichi! Are you ever going to confess to Shitty-hara?”

“Confess? Wait, you think I love him?” Kokichi burst into laughter. “Oh, wow! I thought you were the “gorgeous girl genius” not “lamebrained lackluster lady.”” Miu tried to kick him, but she was too short, and he saw it coming a mile away. She cursed that his legs weren’t long enough. She would have kicked him if she was back in her original body, damn it. “Saihara-chan will forever be out of my reach! Like two lovers, unrequited by fate.” He pressed his hand against his chest. “Or am I lying? Maybe I don’t like Saihara-chan at all. Maybe I’m stringing him along, much like I’m doing it to you.”

“I thought this point of the game was, to be honest.” Miu frowned at him. “If you’re just going to go around acting like that, then there’s really no point to this, is there?”

Kokichi’s smile slipped off his face. “Now what part of this makes you think I’m lying. Use your head for once bimbo. What am I saying?”

“I don’t know? That Pooichi could fuck off for all you care? Just...shuffle the cards. Jesus.” Miu grumbled.

The cards shuffled and passed.

Weirdly Miu won again. “Losing your touch there, Cockichi? Got so distracted by my first question, you fucked up?”

“Don’t you have a better question to be asking?” Kokichi teased, putting a finger against his cheek.

“Ugh….” Miu groaned. “Oh, I know! Was one of the two people that you screwed your organization members?”

“Ew!” Kokichi blanched, looking downright disgusted. “Oh god, I need brain bleach. Incest much?!”

“AAAAHHH?” Miu shrieked loudly, shoving the cards towards him. “Wh-they’re your siblings?! Do you have your siblings as your fucking organization members?! How many fucking kids did your parents shit out?!”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Kokichi shrugged, quickly coming down from the excitement. “I was lying.”

“Eh?! L-lying? So they’re not your siblings?” Miu questioned.

“Maybe. Maybe they’re not.” Kokichi replied easily. “Okay, on to the next game!”

The cards were passed again, and Kokichi grinned when he won. Miu grumbled as she tossed her hand down. “My turn.” He said easily. “Tell me...a secret of yours.”

“A...secret? Why do you want to know something as intimate as that?” Miu questioned, her cheeks warm.

“I already know you’re a virgin.” Kokichi rolled his eyes, “Should’ve guessed that by the way, you get hard at the drop of a hat.” Miu tried to slam her foot into his shin again, but he dodged it effortlessly. “Come on, tell me a secret. Come on! Come on! Come on!”

“Fine already! Shut up! God, you’re so annoying!” Miu tapped her hands against the table, and she stared off into the distance. “...I didn’t use to be this way.”

“Hm?” Kokichi tilted his head curiously.

“I know, right? Me? An average girl? Hard to wrap the head around, isn’t it? Well, it’s true. I used to be as ordinary as they came.” Miu looked at Kokichi squarely in the eyes. “Well, I got into a car accident—a life or death situation. I was in a coma for god knows how long. I woke up, and here I am.”

“Oooh. So you had a brain injury because of a car accident.” Kokichi nodded after a moment. “That explains a lot.”

“Not brain damaged.” Miu shook her head, “Augmented.”

Kokichi’s playful expression turned severe. “Augmented.” He repeated, as though he never heard the word.

“Yeah. I’m an augmented human. It explains a lot about why I can suddenly do the things that I can.” Miu grinned wildly. “Don’t you think so?”

“Demented, maybe.” Kokichi shook his head. “So you think you’re abnormal in that way? Huhhh. So if I hit you over the head, do you think I’d see wires or an actual brain?” Before Miu could respond, Kokichi continued. “Huh. I never thought that you’d be another weird type like Kiiboy. That’s really interesting.”

Miu wasn’t sure if she was being mocked or if Kokichi was honest. She played with her strands of hair before sighing. “What the fuck is this supposed to accomplish? Trading secrets and stuff?”

“IT-WAS-TO-MAKE-SURE-YOU-GET-ALONG.”

Miu and Kokichi jumped when Monodam appeared into the lab. The green robotic bear had a permanent smile on its face, and he didn’t look too nonplussed. “MISSION-SUCCESSFUL. FATHER-WILL-BE-MOST-PLEASED.”

“I thought Monotaro was the baby. When did we adopt this?” Kokichi asked, pointing at Monodam. “I wasn’t told that I was going to be a daddy. Miu, how could you?!”

“OH-WAS-MISSION-UNSUCCESSFUL-AFTER-ALL?” Monodam questioned, his head tilted slightly much like the monochrome bear that Miu wanted to kick across the room. 

“N-no! This is how mommy and daddy fight,” Miu wanted to be switched back as fast as humanly possible. “So uh...when do we get our bodies back?”

“TOMORROW-EVENING-AT-THE-LATEST.” Monodam replied. “I-THOUGHT-IT-WOULD-TAKE-YOU-LONGER-TO-GET-ALONG. LOOKS-LIKE-I-WAS-WRONG.”

“Tomorrow...” Kokichi repeated. “So I’m stuck in this cumdumpster body till tomorrow...”

“What the fuck are you planning on doing?” Miu deadpanned, looking at Kokichi.

Kokichi’s expression went neutral for a long moment before he grinned. “Nothing to worry your head over, Miu!” That was only going to make her worry even more. “I’m going to take off now. This was super boring and not at all fun. Laters!”

“Hey, shit for brains!” Miu called after him, but Kokichi already wobbled-ran out of the lab, and she could feel a sinking pit of dread as she turned to Monodam. “Can you please, please, please turn us back faster than tomorrow?! He’s going to ruin me!”

“MAYBE-I-SHOULD-EXTEND-THE-TIME-LIMIT.” Monodam frowned. “MAYBE-FATHER-WILL-NOT-BE-PLEASED-THAT-MOTIVE-DIDN’T-WORK.”

“Monodam, don’t extend it. Please don’t extend it. I just want my body back, that’s all. We’re getting along just fine. I promise.” She hated lying through her teeth. She hated not knowing what Kokichi was fucking up too. “So, please end it sooner.”

“TOMORROW.”

Miu wanted to cry. 

X

“Hey, Iruma-san,” Saihara greeted her the next day. “Do you have..um..time to talk?” 

Miu raised an eyebrow, exhausted and tired. Her body felt sore, and her legs numbed as though she had done nothing but run all over the place. Knowing Kokichi, that was what happened. 

“That love confession that you gave m-”

"THAT FUCKING COCKSLUT."

X

Kokichi wondered if today was going to be the day Miu snapped and tried to murder him. Well, if she did, it wouldn’t be for anything. At least he had his body back.

Though he was going to miss not having to walk with something between his legs, damn, he didn’t realize how often that got in the way. 


End file.
